Ready-to-use dialogue, sorted by voice
Things a Vampire Says Before Ruining a Perfectly Good Evening
Actual usable lines for specific kinds of people.
Love it or your money back within 14 days. Something wrong? Tell us, a human will sort it fast.
What do I need to open it?
Anything that reads a PDF: phone, tablet, laptop, or that one browser tab you never close. No special software.
Can I type straight into it?
Yes. The pages are fillable, so type in any PDF app, or pull it into GoodNotes and scribble. Prefer paper? Print the lot.
When do I get it?
The second you pay. It downloads from the confirmation screen and lives in your account forever for re-downloads.
Can I see it before I buy?
Yes, scroll down. The peek section shows real spreads from this exact pack, so you know exactly what you're getting.
Not just a dialogue pack.
55 lines across 5 sections, each includes a line, softer and harsher takes, delivery, and character context.
Gives your blood-bound vampire a court-trained way to mention your heroine’s basilic vein without sounding like he was assembled from fog, cheekbones, and a library card.
You get "Things a Vampire Says Before Ruining a Perfectly Good Evening," a PDF pack of vampire dialogue entries in themed sections, each built for paranormal romance scenes with blood bound lovers.
Each numbered line includes context for why it works, when to use it, and how to place it in a scene. Every line also comes with a softer take and a harsher take, giving you lines with alternate deliveries to lift, adapt, and sharpen. This is vampire dialogue about restraint, anatomy, invitation, hunger, and the intimate danger of being noticed far too closely. The ink stamps, margin scrawls, and sign offs render a little differently in every copy, so no two PDFs are identical.
Made for paranormal romance writers who need vampires who can flirt, threaten, confess, and start a blood bound row without every immortal sounding like a silk lined greeting card. Use it for drafting, character voice work, scene repairs, and those moments when your vampire has entered the room but has apparently left his usable dialogue in 1897.
Give your vampires lines with teeth.
Every InkJaw pack gets its own jokes: the little notes in the margins, the whisper on the cover, the small stamps tucked into corners. We write them for this pack and nowhere else, so they keep making you laugh long after the first read.
A full page of mock-legalese, written just for this pack — everything InkJaw formally declines responsibility for. The only terms and conditions you'll actually want to read.
- The line "The basilic vein in your left arm has been trying to introduce itself all evening. You needn't hide it from me. I know its name now."
- The range Softer: "Your left arm gives you away when you're nervous. I noticed, that's all." Harsher: "Keep your sleeve down if you like. I can hear the blood beneath it perfectly well."
- The delivery He says it while reaching for his glass, with the calm of a man identifying the correct fork. His eyes remain on yours.
- Where it comes from A vampire raised among courts where feeding was negotiated in public and every appetite required polished manners. He learned precision because imprecision started feuds.
- Drop it when He says it after the human keeps tugging at a sleeve during a formal drink. It turns a small nervous habit into evidence that he has been paying unbearable attention.
See the actual pages.
Lines built as voices: the line, its range, the delivery, where it comes from, when to use it.
Stop rebuilding it from scratch. It's $7.99 and it's done.
Instant download, saved to your account forever.
